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Everyone has been talking about juicing lately. Juicing cleanses in particular. I’ve read a lot of things here and there about it, and I was curious. Is this something I could ever do, let alone afford?  The deliver-it-to-your-door-3-day-cleanse-if-you-hate-it-you-are-screwed-plus-it-costs-twohundreddollars was a little intense for me. Lo and behold, I found a solution: Evolution Fresh.

My day of juice...all packaged up and ready to go!

My day of juice…all packaged up and ready to go!

They have wonderful 6 packs of juice for different levels of juicing. Wanting to start small, I chose the “Easy Evolution Pack.” The one day, 6 pack of juice cost me $33.20. Not bad, considering a normal happy hour usually runs me that much…

Anyways, here we go! My first ever day of juicing!

8:30 AM: Juice #1, “Sweet Greens and Lemon”
This juice basically tastes like a salad. I have never eaten a salad for breakfast in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love salads, but it is really hard for me to grasp the concept of juicing greens. Why try to fix something that isn’t broken? It’s a struggle for me to get through the end of the bottle. I can’t believe I have to drink a whole other 15.2 oz. bottle of this later in the day.
Mood: I already feel weird, like I might pass out? Work isn’t going well either, I have an audit to complete and several shitty emails to deal with. Stress on top of juice cleanse…I can only imagine where this day will take me!

10:30 AM: The past two hours have been great, I’ve been busy to the point where I’m not thinking about anything other than work. I go into a meeting at 10:30 and my thoughts start drifting towards my next juice…What was it again? Oh god, I really hope it’s not another salad juice.

11:30 AM: Meeting is over and it’s time for Spicy Lemonade. THANK GOD! It’s delicious. Not too spicy or weird, just zingy and fresh. A blend of lemon, ginger, and cayenne. That’s it! I’m in love and could drink this stuff all day.

Spicy Lemonade

2:00 PM: I’m back from an offsite meeting and my stomach is growling, but I still feel great. Time for “Essential Vegetable.” Beet. Spinach. Lime. Parsley. Ginger. It’s pretty much another salad juice. I am not thrilled. Plus, I have another one of these to drink later today along with the “Sweet Greens” salad puree. I have a feeling that I have gotten lucky the first half of the day and tonight after work is going to be very, very rough…

Essential Vegetable

3:15 PM: Yup. Rough. I am barely halfway through the Essential Vegetable juice and it has gotten warm…Someone comes into my office with trail mix and I want to rip it from their hands and savor the salty, sweet, and savory goodness. I go to the fridge to get the Cucumber Pineapple Ginger Juice. My last hope, since the only 2 left after this are the salad juices. This juice actually tastes great, but the cucumber element is a little weird, the smell every time I take a sip makes me think I’m about to eat greek salad but then it’s a sweet juice, hmmm. I catch sight of tortillas sitting at the bottom of the work fridge and they look incredible…clearly I am getting desperate. God dammit, I can’t stop thinking about those tortillas. Soft, warm, tortillas…

Pineapple Juice

6:00PM: I manage to distract myself for the rest of the work day, but I must admit, several times “there is no way I am going to make it without a goddamn piece of toast” go through my mind. I get home, FINISH an Essential Vegetable while relaxing to a particularly racy episode of GIRLS. (Patrick Wilson? Happy Valentines to you Lena Dunham)…I try to make it through the last bottle of Sweet Greens and I just can’t do the watery romaine thing. I realize I probably didn’t drink as much water as I was supposed to, so now that’s what I’m doing. Tons of water. Kind of have a headache, but patting myself on the back for actually making it one day. I’m going to have to follow up on whether a 3 Day Cleanse will ever be doable for me…I am also going to have to follow up on my final thoughts because I am about to fall asleep…